Thursday, August 16, 2012

A friend posted this link on facebook. The article is so unexpected in that the author fits no box or profile and he takes his stand in a raw and humble way. He was raised by two lesbian 'mothers', had no father, grew up gay, had a relationship and married a woman, was labeled bisexual and sumarily dismissed by everyone in the gay community.
I advise you to click on the link and read the whole article, which is really about gay marriage. Here is an excerpt from:
August 11, 2012
The Soul-Crushing Scorched-Earth Battle for Gay Marriage
By Robert Oscar Lopez
Since I was a toddler, I have been stuck with all sorts of Gay Questions. You see, I have no memories of my biological father being around my house. My earliest memories are of my mother and her best friend, who I eventually discovered was her female romantic partner. They raised me together through all of my childhood and adolescence. My mother died when I was nineteen. It may please today's gay activists to know that then, in 1990, my mother's partner was able to be by my mother's bedside.
Yet there has never been peace between me and the gay community. In the 1970s and 1980s, I was raised by two women, both of whom I credit for doing a great job in a rather intolerant era. But it was hard on me, and I have never been hesitant to share my experience truthfully. I suffered from not having contact with my father and lacking a male role model. Period.
One effect of the difficulties was that I dropped out of college and sought parenting from troublesome people.
In the 1990s, I watched many gay men who had become surrogate father and surrogate mother figures to me die. One by one, repeating the tragedy of my mother, they disappeared. They were all alone except, in many cases, for me. The gay community treated them with shame even as they were the only sense of family I thought I'd have left.
In my late twenties, I finally lost my virginity to the woman who would bear me a child and become my wife. So bingo, I was suddenly "bisexual." (My wife knows everything, and I do not plan on hiding my past.) I realized soon enough that bisexuals aren't very popular among the gays. "You're lying," "you're a wacko ex-gay," and "those pictures are going to destroy you!" were all subtle ways of gay friends telling me they weren't going to invite me to parties anymore.
There's more, but I'll stop with the autobiography there. The point is this: if gay marriage is a solution without a problem, I am the gay community's problem without a solution. I don't fit any of their narratives. Through no fault of my own, I explode every one of their myths, from the narrative of idyllic same-sex couple parenting to the supposed fabulousness of post-Stonewall New York to the insistence that gay people are born a certain way and sexual orientation can never change.
I feel like walking around with a sign on my chest saying, "Dear Gays, Please Forgive Me For Existing." Their instinct would be to do what they usually do, which is ignore me. Anyway, I am conservative. That makes me Satan...

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