If only. . .

Here we struggle and work to know ourselves - to figure out what makes us tick the way we do, and then do our damndest to filter out what stems from past wounds and deprivations and what just is, and finally we work up the courage to change what should be changed, and hope to humbly accept what can’t. And then as though this sometimes gut-wenching process were not enough, we face the sting of rejection all over again, when close friends, (our “family”) call us liars and deny our honest experience of self.
We no longer fit in one world and feel horribly ill-equipped to fit in the other. Caught between both, we experience torture of the fiercest variety. What agony! We sit, once again, as we did in our youth, not fitting in, frustrated, broken, and so lonely.
If only..
If only old friends would remain loyal and supportive, not taking our choice as a personal affront but respecting our need to journey out of homosexuality. If only new friends could treat us with true Christian love, not letting phobias get in the way of getting to know us. If only every loving person could understand our painful past, our struggle in the present, and God’s glorious plan for our future.
If only..